Balancing act

Since our days in primary school, we have always been encouraged to participate in co-curriculum activities. This of course actually means any educational activity not taken in a class room. Currently, it is defined as any activity taken outside my current course study guide.

My stand was to always stick to curriculum. After all, the grade in the classroom are what will take you to the next stage. This fact is indisputable. Moreover, I am the kind of person that enjoys sitting in a classroom with well defined guide to the next step. All that is required is to keep following instructions.

academic.cuesta.edu/acasupp/AS/0GUIDES.HTM

However, I, now, realize the down fall of such a comfortable life. Namely, social ties. Yes, everyone in the same class can talk about the lesson learnt on that day but truthfully, nobody wants to be constantly reminded of the feeling of unworthiness in class. So, we socialize about our activities outside of class. This became my pitfall in socializing skills (only realized it in secondary school days!)

So, I decided the old me has to go out the window! I learnt to participate in more co-curriculum activity. I did not feel more popular but rather I felt more at ease when talking to other people. However, coincidentally or otherwise, my grades began to fall. I found it difficult to maintain a high level of education or so said, curriculum.

academic.cuesta.edu/acasupp/AS/0GUIDES.HTM

Hence, this brings me to where I had began in this post. One life is with academic excellence but to be viewed as a solitary person. Unsociable. On the other hand, to be able to laugh with one's friends but to allow grades to slip. Can both this lives be balanced? Sigh.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/Balance_scale.jpg

Perhaps one day it will balance out but I feel that such an opinion is but a fairy tale. After all, life is never so simple. Maybe anyone out there has some advice for me?

PS: If you find this post a little contradictory and going in endless circles, it's okay :P That is how I felt. I am very sure no real answer lies out there but rather this is just to vent frustration at the lack of control of my life. Life was just meant to be a balancing act.

www.woodenstilts.co.uk/.../product.php?prod_id=8

Happy Birthday Mummy!

This year, my mummy turns ... (hehe a secret?). Anyway, mummy's birthday was on a Monday, so, I had my first experience of celebrating a birthday across a computer screen. Thank goodness for video conferencing!

Daddy bought a cake and we sang mum a birthday song! Then came presents! Luckily I already planted the gift that I was sharing with my sister with her. So, mum still got her gift despite the fact that we are in different states :P I got her a teddy bear with chocolates. So, when she misses me ... she can hug the bear! (pending of course the fact that the bear was so tiny that she could squeeze the whole bear with one hand ... :P) Daddy was getting her a long awaited sewing machine. Hmm, I wonder if all mum's gifts are to benefit the family more than herself ... :D Ad's gift for her was dinner!!

That is the cake and me with my mummy :D

My teddy for mummy :D

Hehe a closer view taken by my sister :D

So, we went to "Izzi"? I hope I got the right spelling :P It was okay but mum's cooking is still better :D Haha but I suppose her cooking for the family for her own birthday just does not sound right :D

Mummy seems to enjoy the fact that her son bought her dinner more than the dinner :D

Au and I gave her another gift to celebrate the occasion :P It was another teddy bear :D So, when mum misses Au when she goes to study, she has another bear bear to hug :D (haha also pending the size of the bear ...)

Mum sneak a cookie to eat and I caught in on camera :D Love you mum! Hope you liked the gift!

Hehe I'll take this picture as proof that you liked the gift :D

Well, thank you mummy for being my mummy :D Many Happy Returns of the Day!

Good Samaritan

This post is dedicated to the people who do stuff for other people selflessly.

It all started on the day that V and I were going to go look for a certain adress. I had tried very hard to find the exact route via online maps and asking directions. So, with a certain amount of confidence, we started out.


First road block was the massive construction of the road! The road no longer resemble anything on the map!!! Sigh. In the end, we stopped at this petrol station to ask for directions. The counter lady said she knew the way.

"You keluar dari sini, traffic light pertama you belok kiri. Jalan terus, ada traffic light lagi you ambil kiri. Dari sana boleh nampak *a landmark which I can't remember*. Ada macam kena naik punya." There were also left hand animated signals :P

"Okok. Kiri dan kiri, yah? Terima kasih."


"Ya ya, kiri dan kiri."


So, we left the station to meet the first traffic light BUT there was no left turning!!! Calmly V pointed out another traffic light about 500metre ahead that had a left turning. SO, we took it, went through a village housing area and reached another traffic light almost 15 minutes later. At the traffic light, NO CARS were turning left and the left turning went into a semi desolated area.


"Never mind ... maybe short cut ..."


After turning in we got the fright of our life!! So empty the road!! We quickly asked for new directions. A little more careful we travelled again ... the first thing we both saw was ...


*** the same petrol station ***


Maybe she wanted us to use up petrol so we need to pump ... :P


Anyway, armed with the new directions, we took the first right turning after the station and turn right again ... sigh ...

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://larnach.info/U120/images/eMM.png&imgrefurl=http://beaut1ful.wordpress.com/2007/06/29/crazy-phone-fun/&h=167&w=156&sz=3&hl=en&start=4&sig2=aqceCNf0jI1Oqd6oovw6nQ&um=1&usg=__TZiEjpwgyzbdVfcQiK6A07zOgJ0=&tbnid=r1Csw4bwfbv52M:&tbnh=99&tbnw=92&ei=eC8OSbm6Dom4swK0k8DSBg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dconfused%2Bface%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address%26rlz%3D1I7SKPB%26sa%3DX

BUT we still got lost (an eventual event if I am behind the wheel :P). So, V and I decide to stop one more time to ask for directions. V wanted to ask this man sitting at a restaurant's empty table. I felt it was better to ask the restaurant's owner. In view of my excellant judgment (which got us lost in the first place :P), we asked the owner ... in return, we got a lost look ... sigh



Then, we decided to follow V's suggestion. The man's face registered a look of amazed shocked. My heart shattered! My first thought was that we have gone off direction again. The man smiled.




http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://mediaknows.com/heartbreak.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mediaknows.com/2007/01/08/top-10-heartbreak-songs/&h=358&w=500&sz=16&hl=en&start=8&sig2=pzOTOm2PmaI4THZ1pcBsfw&um=1&usg=__5JyuPP9-6rvnaSjA1UrlmU0d2hY=&tbnid=nDDpAyC6glnW0M:&tbnh=93&tbnw=130&ei=yi8OSZf5OIngswKOvr3SBg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dheart%2Bbreak%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address%26rlz%3D1I7SKPB


The following conversation was in mandarin but as I myself can't understand, this is the translated version ...


"I stay near there"

"Oh, then, can you tell us how to go there?"

"Er, ok. You ... (gave directions)"

"Oh, ok ... (blur face) ... okay I think ..."

The man's packed food came.

"I show you the way lah! My food also came already. I am also going that way."

"Oh! (brighten face) Can, ah? Thank you!"


So, to keep the story sweet and short, we followed him (incidentally, he drives a very expensive car, so, the myth of the rich being selfish is not universal :P). He guided us all the way and we wave a sign of thank you and relieve :P


In summary, *ahem ahem*, it was good to have someone guide us (referring to the last part of story, the first part was to entertain you and to never let me lead you to a new place :P). I was particularly touched by his selflessness and sincerity to help us. So, this post is dedicated to all the people who placed others ahead of themselves. Thank you and may God bless.





http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3574133/2/istockphoto_3574133_angel_cartoon.jpg

Happy Birthday Bro!

This is so overdue that if it was a food, anyone reading it will definitely get diarrhoea. :P But, I went through a lot of trouble to get the pictures, so, I am not going to waste my effort ... here goes ...

On the 2nd of October, my family and I celebrated my big brother's 24th Birthday! We celebrated his birthday by cooking breakfast! He did not sleep the whole night before so, getting him to be awake for breakfast was a piece of cake :P The so called salad was K's recipe but i butchered it! Hehe I have to go for more yogurt classes. Sausages were done by Au. Eggs by Dad and drinks by mum ... or something like that, we kept overlapping jobs :P

The crazy breakfast :D

The next item on our agenda was dinner at Imperial!! Hehe yummy food! Auntie and uncle from nearby came along with cousin and unofficial cousin (my cousin's housemate but she is as good as a cousin anyway :P). We made a toast! (Hehe but birthday boy no drink wine for toast ... he drank mock-tail). Enjoy some random shots of the dinner!

The toast! Hmm, it's a pity I can't remember what we toast for ... :P

Birthday boy!!

Hehe like conference meeting :P

Me and my aunt

The chocolate lovers ...

Actually, this was taken at the lobby of the hotel but I couldn't resist to put it in :D

Next, the cake!!

In a cake ceremony for birthdays, there are some rules to follow ...

1. Always get candles ...
2. Always get knife ....

Ad had to use a lot of imagination that day :P

Finally, the most important part ... pressies !!! Mum and I got him a new formal shirt (I was getting very tired of ironing his shirts which remain the same few every days of the week during my hols :D). Au got him a car sticker (if my memory serves me right it said ... "Cheeky monkey on board". Dad and Mum got him another Manchester United car sticker and a book. Cousins gave him a scent. Aunt and uncle gave him ang pow :D

He peek! No fair! must guess what is inside first!!

The three siblings :D

All in all, I hope he enjoyed it :D To my beloved brother ... Happy 24th Birthday and may all your hope come true :P

In Seremban...

This post is a few weeks over due ... but ... ah well, maybe I can tell a better picture after 3 weeks of IMU-CS :D

Firstly, the personal transition from home to out on my own. My family has been ever so supportive. My big bro left for UK before, so, I was bombarded with all the advice possible on Earth :P All preparation for feeling home sick was addressed a few weeks even before I left home. Hehe. I never had the time or chance to be unprepared! Thanks!

http://www.t4tcolorado.org/files/uImages/2/vista/cartoon_house.jpg

As for study wise ... I had a true culture shock. The hours and stuff expected of us kinda hit me hard. The expected knowledge that is to be at fingertips. The self planning of limitless knowledge. The preparation that has to be made before every class. Sigh. I felt like a little box going round and round the whirlpool!!!

http://www.visartonline.com/images/183%20Whirlpool%20Blue%20copy.jpg

Honestly, I think my first reaction was to pack my stuff and run!! I mean it was overwhelming and I just couldn't see where the road was heading!! I wasted a lot of opportunity that was given to me. I was too busy being miserable and wondering how I was going to survive. After having a lot of good advice (acknowledgement to Mum, Kj, JL, Dr IC, Dr N <>)

http://jaggedsmile.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/rabbitjogging.jpg

I have decided to take on IMU-CS with a new resolution. I need to put on more make up. (To dare and make mistake, to dare for people to laugh at me). I need more courage. (my apologize to all the people who had to suffer from my cowardice) (I need to more faith in myself that I can actually pass clinical school). My hope is that both this resolution will carry me through this 2 and half years. Maybe there will be times of falter but perhaps maybe the road has just been paved. Que sera sera ...

Repentance

Reference: http://www.hot-screensaver.com/wp-myimages/port-dickson-beach.jpg



This post is a confession of a wrongful doing which hopefully will lead to repentance. It all began one dark night on Friday. I was suppose to travel to PD to look for a particular location. Having been to PD (for recreational purposes) I believed I would be able to find the place with no hiccups at all. (Boy! If only I knew how the night would eventually turned out ...) So, I kidnapped (bribed with prospect of food actually) my housemates. They were under the impression (a very false one) that I would be bringing them some where in PD to eat a nice dinner.



The journey begun with a warning from my family back home to not go look for the place at night. (With my past record of getting lost, it was a very very sound advice :P ) But, on that particular night, my cup was filled to the brim. So, despite the good advice, I bundle all my innocent housemates into my car and off we went. The first turn of to PD was also to Lukut. I believed (to my own risk) that the sign board never lies. I took the turn off and enter a small road (look like kampung style but actually not lah! It was 3 lanes for both direction. The extra third lane was for the side that had a turning). Cold sweat poor out! I cannot see the town, the hospital or any resort!!! Panic attack!!!

Reference: http://www.msn-winks.ws/files/aseru.png

About 45 minutes later ( I believe actually not so long but i scared already so, I drive even slower) we reached the area of the resorts. Then, we decided that enough was enough. We turned in to a petrol station and asked directions. I think the gas attendant must have thought we were crazy cause he just told us to just keep driving straight. I thought he must have heard us wrong. Anyway, we kept on driving and finally found the hospital!!! After one and a half hours!! (Actual time needed is only 30 minutes if you follow the correct directions :P)

Whew! Sigh of relief and onward back to Seremban. But! My ego had not yet finish deflating ... I still wanted to find that nice restaurant I bribed my housemates with ... a few turning later ... by some miracle we found it!! I felt quite accomplished (for a few seconds :P ). Dinner was a hot pot dish. The waiter kept saying it is spicy. DL and I cannot take spicy food. So, we ordered extra dishes too. But when the hot pot came, NOT spicy!!! So, in the end had extra dishes causing each person to pay RM20 each!! (most expensive meal we have had since setting foot in Seremban and most amount of money we spent in the whole week!!)


Fine, just as you thought things could not get any worse, we turned back to go to Seremban. The highway was poorly lighted!! My excellent eye sight with such high astigmatism made me feel as if I was driving blindly. I think my housemates finally broke out in cold sweat! (there is only so much one can tolerate :D ) After a slow drive, we arrived back home at Seremban.



DL left for home about an hour later than expected and K help drove my car home. Sigh. My apologies go out to all the people who I put at risk of developing heart problem & the people whose advice I did not take to heart.



The moral of the story (after all, all stories need to have purpose right? :') )is that never let ego get the better of you. I let it get inflated only to have it burst. This time it was different. God decided that after all those years using a pin for my ego, He wanted to drive the message home :D. He released the air slowly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming Him. I just feel truly blessed (really I do!!) because through out my life, He always leads me on the right road. Every time I decide to do something naughty (yes, it happens a lot) He will chuckle and teach me a lesson. So, in conclusion, thank you Lord for the lesson well learnt. Next time my ego inflates, please Lord, slap me :P I deserve it after You have been so nice to me.
Reference: http://khuon.com/blog/pics/040408_sorrypanda.jpg

Kaj & Christene's 21st Birthday

On the night of 27th of August, I celebrated the birthday of two people so like each other yet will wage war against each other if they have to. To my friends K & C, welcome to the world of adulthood. :D

Taken by Kiku Zakura waitress but it is my only group photo so bear with me: SY, A, C, LW, K, me (on the left) & J, CM, C, B, Yy (on the right) ... Apologies to those that the photo did not do justice to :P
K & me :D

C & CM :D

After much debate between me & J, we finally decided to surprise them on an in between date. C's birthday is on 26th of August while K's is on 28th of August, so, we agreed upon 27th of August. Simple maths, no? The venue, Kiku Zakura is thanks to B. Hehe He pulled a lot of strings to get us the venue. I hoped that K will finally be able to say he has tried good jap food (past experience were poor :P)

C found out that the wasabi is served as cute leaf impressions.

Tempura by Kiku Zakura (K's order)

Udon by Kiku Zakura (C's order)

J ordered something cheese... ? Looks nice though :P

Anyway, the night began late (due to us all being Malaysian's :P & of course the heavy downpour leading to heavy traffic) (Murphy's Law?). Fortunately, we managed to surprise them because they didn't know so many people came (11 plus the celebrities)! The cake was the highlight though! The ice cream dog cake gave all the girls something to scream about! But the best cake award goes to CM and her 21 cupcakes. Ohhh! Sinfully delicious ... hmm, we are all now thinking of ways to get her to continue cooking in S'ban :P

The cupcakes!! (Trying very hard not to drool) :P

The ice cream cake ... hehe truth was it was suppose to be brown ... ah well, it worked well anyway :D

A special thanks to my partner's in crime J & B. To all who attended & those whose hearts were with us but not unfortunately unable to be there, thank you! Last but not least to the two newly 21st, I hope you had a great time and that the years to come are filled with many more laughters. Happy 21st Birthday.

PS: My sincere apologies due to poor photos (my camera old mah!)

Astronomical Message

Disclaimer: I am not putting anyone down or lifting any one idea/concept in this post. I would just like to present my own view upon a thought that has been revolving round my head.

Some weeks ago (some as in at least 2 weeks ...), I watched a video about a message of God. It talked about the space & the astronomical bodies which reflected God's view on us. It was touching and Ad had wanted to watch it with me. I truly agree with the message: we on Earth are so small compared to the universe. Yet, we are all loved by Him. We measure by meter and the galaxy by light years (distance travelled by light in a year ). It was awesome to watch. However, I was not as moved as Ad was watching it. It truly bothered me that I was did not feel the same excitement he felt.

http://schoolnet.gov.mt/earth_universe/images/milkyway.jpg

Finally, I truly realise the reason. The reason I felt that seeing God in the galaxy is not that moving is that I always felt He was much much much closer to Earth than seemed. (Not to say the video was wrong, but I prefer seeing Him this way ...) I see Him in childbirth, growth, smiles, laughter, patience ... all the small miracles in a day (incidentally, this reminds me of a song I like: Ordinary miracles by Sarah Mchlachlan). I am a believer that everything happens to His will for a better future. For me, if I pass a traffic light which remained green for me, that is a sign of His miracle.

Source:

1) http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3609625/2/istockphoto_3609625_stork_cartoon.jpg&imgrefurl=http://gummybearsandgreenmango.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-to-hold-baby.html&h=380&w=285&sz=30&hl=en&start=33&sig2=uR4OjksYPkZBComPD7wVJg&um=1&tbnid=TB4TM2SCrSiXhM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=92&ei=Vc6rSO_NO4TIsgL6vbHVDw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbaby%2Bcartoon%26start%3D18%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address%26rlz%3D1I7SKPB%26sa%3DN

2) http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/040929_rfoster_mp_ict_trafficlights_sensor.jpg

Perhaps I should learn to see Him in a different light ... or perhaps He is just everywhere for everyone to view differently.

Convocation celebration

My university is having a convo celeb for my batch that has finished phase 1. When I got the letter, I had mixed feelings ...

I was proud that I had finished my phase 1. It has been 2 1/2 yrs of pain, tears, sweat, laughter and screams. I felt that I had reached a milestone. A point before I enter the dreaded phase 2.

I am also grateful to my uni. They have taken the effort to recognize our achievement. The want to honour us for the journey we have made along with them. (Before anyone criticizes ... I believe in giving the uni admin the benefit of the doubt that they are not just trying to have publicity)

However, after reading the letter, I felt depress (I think it is the emotion that suites best but maybe it is more of a combination of disappointment and apprehension). On that day, I (my batch) will being wearing a robe without hood or mortar board. I (my batch) do not earn a degree but rather a certificate that we have passed the phase 1. I feel rather "sweepable under the carpet"?

Other than that, I did not truly achieve my goal for the finals to finish the phase 1 programme. My results were below the average score. Hence, I am a below the average student. While many know that passing is the main idea ... I can't help but feel under achieved. I don't feel accomplished. I can almost imagine myself on the day of the convo ... walking down from the stage and crying, not out of joy but out of failure. Sigh. Maybe I am just feeling under the weather.

Well, I am grateful to have come this far no matter what my dreams were. So, while I am grateful to both fate (for my results) and my uni (for the honour), I have made the decision to not attend the ceremony. Perhaps I am reading to deep. Perhaps I am being silly. Perhaps I am being selfish. But, I can't help how I feel. Thanks but sorry :P

School of thought for success

Some amusing (to me, of course ... you might find this in the category of "..." :P) thoughts crossed my mind while watching this Cantonese Drama entitled "Life Made Simple". I don't mean to criticize or give a review, but there is a subplot of it that intrigue me. The subplot is about succeeding in a higher class society.

A poor public estate (low on social rank) girl (C) had opportunity to further studies and return to her hometown with a degree. She began work in a famous company along with her cousin (A) who is wealthy. C is brought up to know that with knowledge and hard work, one can change the fate of one's future. Due to her diligence, she manages to gather money for studies, renovate the house and climb rank in the company.

A is holds on to the principle that presentation and knowing people will get you to the top of the ladder. She dresses the part (she can afford it anyway! :D ) and uses the contacts she has to pave her way to success. Her method causes a lot of people to get hurt and play into her hands.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am neither for nor against the thoughts. The core of me believes that the values we have will help us rise; hardworking, loyal, honesty. But, one cannot deny the windows formed by having contacts. Sometimes, one has to play a gambit (a move to sacrifice something else to protect or rather allow advancement/success). I cannot help wondering the power one will have if he/she can manipulate the chess pieces on the board so easily(no offence to anyone who plays chess, but rather a metaphor of life's decisions). Perhaps a combination of both school of thought is optimum but not so realistic :P

No particular side or strong opinion but rather just some random musings ...

My 21st Birthday!

Thank you all who made my surprise birthday party a success! I truly appreciate the secrecy and the jaw dropping moment!

I knew the plans for the evening was dinner with my family (uncle and aunt included). Through out the day, the signs were everywhere!

Sign 1: My sister refuse to let me help her proof read her project - due to her doing the birthday video on the same screen (I am doubting the fact she ever had a project to do ...)

Sign 2: My father had to distract me one night - he claimed the biscuits I bought from Penang was burnt!! (sigh I fell for it despite the fact that I ate those same biscuits with no effect)

Sign 3: Kaj was given an invitation to be the partner in crime in front of me (it really never occur to me ...) {BTW, thanks for saying you will be online on that particular night - so, I was already thinking that the dinner should be short cause I needed to meet you online)

Sign 4: My brother left early that afternoon to help my dad get some computer stuff ... (My dad's laptop is company's one ... no such gadget required)

Ah well, so, the best acting awards go to the daddy, mummy, brother, sister, kaj & friends for the great surprise.

The night started off with the shock of seeing everybody. I was really in denial. My mind did not register the fact that all of my friends were there. I saw them but my mind assume the were just a part of my imagination ... sigh ... our mind only see what we want to believe.

Anyway, a picture says a thousands word. So, ...

Ad pinning corsage ... do I really look like datuk? 21 only ... still young ... :P

My friends all say I don't look surprise ... sorry, still in denial ....

Andrew and me ...

Jen Lye, me and xandra ...

Kev, Caryn, me(with their gift :D thx), Ling Wei, Cody ...

me, James and Ching mei ...

The Ann (shin ann) and me ...

Eley (with her dangerous shoes :P) and me...

Jane and me ...

Yy, boris and me ...

Christine and me ...

Jen (hmmm, you have a lot of explaining to do :P) and me ...

taiyee, me and uncle ...

Au, me and Ad ...

Daddy, me and mummy ...

The crazy people whom I have grown and loved with for 2 and a half years !!!

Thank you for the great times. The gifts were lovely and will be well treasured. It said that friendship is not measured by the time you have known the person but rather the quality of the time spent together. It isn't the seconds we are together but rather the togetherness for every second. Thanks for everything.