My stand was to always stick to curriculum. After all, the grade in the classroom are what will take you to the next stage. This fact is indisputable. Moreover, I am the kind of person that enjoys sitting in a classroom with well defined guide to the next step. All that is required is to keep following instructions.
However, I, now, realize the down fall of such a comfortable life. Namely, social ties. Yes, everyone in the same class can talk about the lesson learnt on that day but truthfully, nobody wants to be constantly reminded of the feeling of unworthiness in class. So, we socialize about our activities outside of class. This became my pitfall in socializing skills (only realized it in secondary school days!)
So, I decided the old me has to go out the window! I learnt to participate in more co-curriculum activity. I did not feel more popular but rather I felt more at ease when talking to other people. However, coincidentally or otherwise, my grades began to fall. I found it difficult to maintain a high level of education or so said, curriculum.
Hence, this brings me to where I had began in this post. One life is with academic excellence but to be viewed as a solitary person. Unsociable. On the other hand, to be able to laugh with one's friends but to allow grades to slip. Can both this lives be balanced? Sigh.
Perhaps one day it will balance out but I feel that such an opinion is but a fairy tale. After all, life is never so simple. Maybe anyone out there has some advice for me?
PS: If you find this post a little contradictory and going in endless circles, it's okay :P That is how I felt. I am very sure no real answer lies out there but rather this is just to vent frustration at the lack of control of my life. Life was just meant to be a balancing act.
